We Will Be OK

I thought by now I would have a plan for tomorrow but I still have no idea how to proceed with my students.

I'm at a loss.

This post was going to be so much more but I just can't think of the words I need to express the sadness I feel for my students. I can't figure out how to say how hurt I am because my students chose to hurt each other. Am I a bad teacher? Did I neglect to show them that our classroom is our home for 8 hours every day? Did I do something to make them think this type of behavior is acceptable?

I can't help blaming myself, it's what I do. The more I think about it, the more I question. Was I always kind? Do I show respect to my students at all times? Do I accept my students for who they are and what they bring to the classroom? Am I rude or do I lose my temper at times?

I think I'll just go in with this attitude,

and see where we get.

This Doesn't Have a Title

I was just looking through my recent posts and came to this one about my super cool hobby and remembered how much fun I had that day with my students.

Then I thought about how crappy the last 3 days have been and I wondered how my mood could change so dramatically in such a short amount of time.

Seriously...my posts go: "Dominating 12 year olds at dodge ball...yep I rule" "Would you rather...Poop always wins!" "I cry a lot."

Ugh. I'm so glad it's the weekend. I'm going to read and relax and figure out how to help my students care about each other.

Universe in Balance

Ok. The universe definitely likes to keep my life balanced. Good things happen...immediately bad things happen.

Case in point: Universe says, "So you won a bloggy give-away of super cute note cards? How'd you like to go home to a caved in bathroom ceiling?"

Case number two: Universe says, "Your students are causing tons of trouble and making you cry like a baby? How about you win a super cute headband?"

Yep, the one I blogged about here, I won it. Wahoo! Here's to a hopefully great weekend!

Thanks, Jessica!

I Cry A Lot

**Waring: This post is super long. I warned you, don't complain later.**

Here's the short story: I cried at school today.

Here's the whole story.

On Tuesday a student told me there was something "really bad" written on a stall in the bathroom about another student in the class. It's something that doesn't need to be repeated and involves things that I had no idea even happened between men and women until I was well into junior high...well into junior high.

So the other teachers and I called a "girl meeting" during recess and told the girls that the writing on the wall is completely inappropriate and it will not be tolerated. We told the girls that we would be more lenient if the girl who did it came forward than if we found out and the girl never came forward. We added "we always find out" at the end of the meeting.

Fast forward to just after lunch on Wednesday:

Two girls come in to me to tell me they know who wrote on the bathroom wall. So as soon as the class comes in I call a mini meeting with my class and tell them that I know who wrote on the wall and I will give the person until the end of the day to admit it to me.

Fessing up didn't happen...

...until right before school today.

This student came to me and told me that she did it. I asked why and she said it was because this other student made her mad. Ok, that's not good enough. Turns out this other student made fun of her hair. Ok, I can see being upset about that (hello, I'm a girl. Girls are all about hair. I get it.) but...what you did? Not acceptable.

Principal gets involved.

Student is suspended.

Other student is leaving our school because she doesn't feel safe (this is not the first incident with this student being the picked on one).

These three things happened during lunch.

After lunch we have writing. My students always have some little writing assignment they do when they come in from lunch so they can settle down and get back to work after 30 minutes of being insane with their friends at recess.

Today's little writing assignment was "What does it mean to be respectful to ALL students in this school?" As they were finishing their writing, I gave them the definition of respectful from our dictionary. I don't really know why I chose to do that, but I did...and as I did, I began crying.

I'm the BIGGEST baby ever. Especially when it comes to people being unkind, disrespectful, vicious to each other and even more so when those people are my students who I care about as much as if they were my children. It breaks my heart. I can't control it. I can't shut off my heart. I've tried to not care and not get involved but it's impossible for me.

Maybe you think that makes me weak and a bad teacher in some way but I think it makes me a better teacher. The kids I work with have such difficult lives and they need to know there is someone there that cares. I am that person in their lives. If these kids leave 6th grade and the only thing they know is that I care about them, I will feel like I am a successful teacher. Ok, and I want them to know how to work with fractions and read at grade level.

Anyway, after they wrote I talked to them about how much it hurts me to hear that they are being rude to each other. I told them what bullying includes and that it is something you do that makes people feel bad. I think before today, they thought that bullying was being physically aggressive.

I cried and I was a wreck and I was embarrassed and I was angry and I was sad and I was done.

Our principal is sick of the crap that is going on in 6th grade so she had us talk to the kids and had them write lists of the kids that they've seen or heard bullying others and also kids they've heard swearing.

After I got these lists (if you were wondering, EVERY student in my class was on someone's list), I passed out the lyrics to Imagine by John Lennon and read the lyrics to them,

Imagine there's no heaven

It's easy if you try

No hell below us

Above us only sky

Imagine all the people

Living for today...



Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace...



You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will be as one



Imagine no possessions

I wonder if you can

No need for greed or hunger

A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people

Sharing all the world...



You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will live as one

Again, I cried. My kids cried. We cried together. I feel like I need to help the kids work on being kind and respectful every day.

If you have any songs, poems, stories, ANYTHING that would be good for these kids to hear, please leave a comment and let me know. I'm at a bit of a loss right now. I don't know what else to do with them.

I did learn that crying is a good weapon. These kiddos were so great the rest of the day. I loved it...aside from the feeling like crap part.

Would You Rather...

I work with kids. Obviously, I hear some pretty funny things.

I like to play "Would you rather..." with my students. I like hearing their reasons for why they choose things. It also gets a good discussion going. Occasionally, I have them write their own. What did I learn from this? They really like talking about poop.

Here's one of the gems that I got today:

"Would you rather...marry the ugliest person in the world and you could never divorce them or kill them or kill yourself...OR...eat poop for every meal for 3 days?"

Guess what won.


That's right...POOP!

Magical Monday

Top 3 reasons today was magical:

3. The 16 year old kiddo at Office Max didn't make me pay for my copy. Yep, it was probably like 10 cents but it made me feel awesome so here's to you sophomore with your first job...virtual high five!


2. I got a water softener. Oh happy day...and hair...and laundry...and dishes...and...showers...and everything else that uses water.

1. Since I started going to college all my hobbies went away but people still asked me "What are some of your hobbies?" I never had an answer...until today. I found my new hobby that I will gladly share with anyone who asks (and those lucky few who follow my blog). I will also write it on anything and everything that asks me for a hobby. No one will ever wonder what my hobby is again...Dominating 12 year olds at dodge ball. Yep, I rule.

Cute Headband...For Free!

I'm addicted to blog give-aways lately (if you haven't noticed) so I found A Few Good Things.

She's giving away a super cute headband. Go comment so you can win.

Give-away ends January 31.

Bathroom Calamity

I like making movies of myself. I'm also now obsessed with the mini calamity in my bathroom.



Not only do I have this hole in my ceiling but it's also moldy...great. I'm probably going to die. Apparently it's just been a slow drip forever and the drywall finally couldn't hold any more water and it began to crack last night. So due to the fact that my bathroom is moldy and smells like a garden and old men and is connected to my bedroom, I slept on the couch last night.

How's your weekend been?

Time for Free

Do you want to be a winner just like I am? (I'm referring to the note cards...not the missing ceiling.)

Well, then today is your lucky day. That's So Cuegly is having a give away for a really sweet juicer. I know you all made resolutions to be more healthy and what's a better way to be healthy than to make your own juice every morning?



Also, here's some great bar stools.

Prepare to be Super Un-Jealous

I came home from work today to a horrible thing...


a dripping bathroom ceiling. I wish I would have taken a picture of the severe damage done by the water before the severe damage done by the plumber.



If you were laying on the floor of my bathroom, this is what you would now see.

I guess the universe likes to even things out...win a super give-away...have your ceiling fall in on you...the universe is now back in perfect harmony.

Prepare to be Super Jealous

I found Lelan of The Goodness Behind the Gravy from Mique of 30 Days.

Well, lovely Mique had a giveaway of amazing things from Lelan.

Address Labels

Branch Wrap Around Labels

Marquee Monogram

Guess what. I won. Yep. Me. The girl who never wins anything actually won something. Yippee team Ash J!

Sarcasm

It's here...punctuation for your sarcastic comments...the SarcMark.

Click here to download it, it's $1.99. I don't think I like it. I'll stick with having to explain that I was being sarcastic.

Number 2

I told you about my students writing goals here and about how one of my students wanted to "be more awesome" and "find a girlfriend."

What I forgot to mention was that the next day he said, "Hey Miss J. My number 2 is coming along pretty good." Because I was teaching and it was a crazy time, I had no idea what he was talking about and immediately thought he was talking about poop...mostly because he's a sixth grade boy and why else would you say "number 2" if not referring to that "number 2." Because I didn't think he need to tell me about how great his number 2s are, I questioned him a bit more. He said, "Remember yesterday? My number 2...the letter?" Cue light bulbs. Oh. The girlfriend. "That's nice K. but I still don't think it's a great goal for you."

So, being the sarcastic, always-give-you-a-hard-time-but-in-a-loving-way teacher that I am, I ask him about the goal every once in a while by saying something like, "How's your number 2 coming?" And I always do so when he's with girls because it's just too easy. He usually says something like, "Oh, pretty well."

Today was different...today when asked, he said,

"I finished that goal yesterday."

"Someone at this school?"

"No. She's a year older."

"Oh, K. Good luck."

Things That Annoy Me--January 2010

1. Inversion

2. People that constantly update their Facebook status. I don't care that you're eating a sandwich or that you are visiting a friend or that you're standing in line or that you just woke up or that you're going to the bathroom or anything else stupid and superficial. Just stop and think, "If I said this out loud would I sound like a tool?" If the answer is yes, don't say it. Get a blog and write about it instead. Always add pictures.

3. Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z. It's not so much the song as it is the fact that I can guarantee it is on the radio RIGHT NOW. Really. Go check. I'll wait.

4. Students who know from personal experience what it's liked to be bullied but bully others despite that fact.

5. Inside recess days. They are slowly going to kill me.

6. All these "don't tell any men" emails I keep getting on Facebook.

7. Not getting the email and wondering why people are karate chopping bananas and dancing with pickles.

8. Couples who have joint email and Facebook accounts. Maybe I want to tell you about something that happened to me but I don't feel comfortable also telling your husband. Now I guess you'll never know, Mrs. We-Have-A-Joint-Account-Because-We-Love-Each-Other-So-Much.

9. Whoever it is that insists on running up and down the staircase in my complex during all hours of the night. This person must be 500 pounds but very quick. And I think he/she runs up the stairs while wearing roller blades. I hate you, you ridiculously fast and fat roller blade wearing person!

10. People who have blogs but never update. I'm sorry you have kids and that you are a good mom but I need to hear about your adventures...geesh. (pretend that's in sarcastic font...really it's happening.)





...I was right about the song, wasn't I?

Laffy Taffy Churchy

I spoke in church today.

Wow. It's always unnerving but I got through it and it went really well.

I wanted to open my talk with a great story or a funny story or a joke of some kind. Nothing came to my head so I finally decided I'd start the talk with a joke from a Laffy Taffy.

Here's the joke I told to open it up (I said it was appropriate because we are in a singles ward.): "What did the girl ocean say to the boy ocean when he asked her on a date? Shore." Ha. It got way more laughter than it deserved but it made me happy.

As I was speaking my friend Claire sent me this text: "You've got them eating out of your hand. Reel them in. P.S. you look pretty. The end." Awww. How nice. By the way, I did not open the text until after church, if you were judging me.

Why I Never Get Anything Productive Done

I procrastinate...


and take pictures of myself in my Snuggie.

Would You Like a Kit-Kat With That?

Do you know what is so amazing in the moment and so very bad hours later?




Eating candy for lunch...that's what.


Eating candy for lunch = huge high followed by huge crash.

Note to self: Do not eat candy for lunch ever again.

Personal Goals...Really? That's What You're Working On?

I finally got around to getting my students to write down some goals. I wanted them to write 2 personal goals, 2 friend and/or school goals, and 2 family goals.

(Let me remind you that I work with 11 and 12 year olds.)

These are the personal goals I got from one boy in my class:

1. Be more awesome

2. Find a girlfriend

I said, "K. you don't need a girlfriend, girls are annoying."

K.: "No they're...WAIT! You're a girl!"

Me: "I know and I'll say it again. Girls are annoying."

K.: "Miss J, girls are not annoying. And I need a girlfriend."

Me: "Let's make a deal. You can have a girlfriend when you're in 11th grade."

K.: "Ugh. Miss J, can I just go to the mall and find one?"

Me: "No. Go do your math."


Why do 11-year-old students think they need girlfriends/boyfriends. Ewwww...have you smelled each other lately? Have you noticed how your bodies are going crazy and you can't control yourself? Why in the world would you want to hold hands and...ack, do I dare...possibly kiss?

Saying that just made me vomit in my mouth a little bit.

If you are less than 16 and reading this post remember this and thank me later...

YOU DO NOT NEED A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. Concentrate on something productive like doing your homework and playing sports.


P.S. This is post number 200. Woot! My bloggy baby is growing up.

Into The Swing of Things

I've finally got my teaching legs back.

Geez-o Peez-o. That first week was rough. Who would have thought that a full month off school (Yep. You read that right. One. Whole. Month.) would turn my little darlings brains to mush? Oh, wait...everyone thought that.

On top of the fact that not one student remembered how to do school, I was observed and evaluated by my principal twice already. As unready as I felt for these, it means I'm done for the year so I'm okay with that. My principal did say she likes to get these "out of the way for teachers she doesn't have any worries about."

Awwww...that makes me feel good. So even though I see my class as being a wreck no one else does.

Reality TV Teaches You So Much

I'm obsessed with trashy reality TV...primarily The Jersey Shore and The Real World.

I try to keep that under wraps but decided that you should all know this dirty little secret about me.

I know you're all judging me because these shows are horrendous but these shows don't deserve the bad wrap they get. I have learned so much already by watching these two diamonds.

1. You can't be a racist and like basketball.

2. How to fist pump like a pro.

3. How to take a punch like a woman.

4. Having an obsessive compulsion to lie about anything and everything is a good way to make friends.

5. When you disagree with someone but don't really have relevant points, just yell the same thing over and over again.

My point to this post is not the fact that I watch ridiculous amazingly stimulating television. The point is that on The Real World this season they have a piece of art made from pennies. I can't find a picture of it on the internet but believe me it's awesome. Imagine this:
in the shape of something and hanging on a wall. It's awesome and I want one. MTV, if you're reading this, feel free to send the art to me when the season is over. Thanks so much.

You're Making Us Sick

Dear Inversion,

Everyone hates you. Go away. We miss breathing easily and seeing the mountains. Please get out of here and never come back.

Your cooperation is appreciated.

Sincerely,

Everyone in Utah

Gibberish

I love stumbleupon.com. It introduced me to this video of an Italian actor, Adriano Celantano, performing a rock song intended to sound like English.

Zlata'a Diary

I know...you had to do a complete double take but it's true...I've finally finished another book.

Book #42: Zlata's Diary by Zlata Filipovic

From September 1991 to October 1993 Zlata Filipovic kept a diary. It began like any other 11-year-old's diary would; talk of friends, MTV, school, and piano lessons. She soon begins writing of the war that is ravaging her country. She writes of severe shortages of food, water, and gas; the end of her privilege childhood in Sarajevo. She gives vivid descriptions of how war ravages a country and affects the people.

I read this with one of my reading groups and I couldn't believe that an 11-year-old girl (a 6th grader) could write such profound things. Though she has been described as a modern Anne Frank, I don't think her diary carries as much weight as Anne Frank's does.

"The forces of war don't know anything about love and the desire to save something. They just know how to destroy, burn, take things away" (p. 53)

Best Christmas Eve...EVER

I know...I know...it's a bit late but whatever.

Now I know after you got over the fact that I'm talking about Christmas Eve almost two weeks later, you said, "Why was it so great, Ash?"

I say, this is why:We got Snuggies!

It's a blanket with sleeves!



Not only can you stay totally warm and still use your arms so you can work the remote, read a book, enjoy a snack, use your laptop, knit, drink tea, snuggle your baby in your arms, keep your pet close at hand or roast marshmallows; you can also:

Answer the door while staying warm,


Punch your brother while staying warm*,


Use the toilet while staying warm,


Put on shoes while staying warm,


Read stimulating literature while staying warm,


Vote while staying warm,

Wrap presents and be hugged while staying warm,



Make an honest living while staying warm,

Mop while staying warm,


Take next year's Christmas card photo while staying warm,


Be put in a head lock while staying warm,


Play games while staying warm,


Drive while staying warm,


Cuddle with your significant other sister while staying warm,


Hide children while staying warm,


Carry things while staying warm,


And be attacked by a jeans wearing bear while staying warm.

*No actual brothers were injured in the making of this Snuggie photo shoot.

Things I Learned While Off Track

1. Cutting is a very soothing thing for me...Thanks Balanced Literacy class for teaching me that if ever I can't sleep I will just cut things out until I drift into a blissful slumber.

2. I hate needy boys...Geez! Grow a pair would you?

3. There needs to be an Internet course for how to drive on snowy days. Yes, I'm talking you little Miss I-Have-A-Huge-SUV-So-Obviously-I-Can-Still-Drive-At-Freeway-Speeds-In-A-Blizzard.

4. While we're on Internet courses, there should also be a class for awkward LDS guys. There are two extremes when it comes to these men boys--weeny and jerk-face. Since I am now 9 credit hours smarter (thanks MEd.!), I'd be happy to teach it. All I need is a tweed blazer with patches on the elbows.

5. Every time I make dinner for myself, someone else invites me to dinner. Because I love people inviting me to dinner (and paying), I will now make dinner but wait a few minutes before I eat.

6. When I was little I was always overjoyed by the fact that it snowed and my parents were always ornery that it snowed. I now understand their orneriness.

7. Finding the perfect present is super difficult but so worth the work.

8. I'm so glad I don't have to be in school during December...especially such a frigidly cold one! Schools have had so many inside day this month. Inside days = Worst. Thing. Ever.

9. Slipping on ice hurts your ego more than your body.


10. Drilling holes in cabinets to attach lovely hardware is super easy (if you measure correctly, see #13).

11. Crazy morning hair IS a short hair thing...it happens to all of us.

12. In-n-Out is good but not THAT good.

13. I suck at crafts because I hate to measure.

14. Though stepping into a bucket of wet paint sounds like a blast, IT'S NOT.

15. When painting a ceiling, always look down before you take a step (see #14).

16. Hot glue, old books, and acrylic paints make for a super cute wreath.

17. As grandma/married couple as it sounds, I'd rather sleep through New Year's celebrations...the holiday is so hyped up and never lives to the expectations.

18. A month filled with holidays and home projects vanishes before you get anything done.

19. I judge people based on their grammar when on Facebook or blog stalking. Yep, I'm talking to you. By the way, see's = see is. That does not make sense. Take a minute to reread and spell check...Thank you!*

20. As much as I miss my students, I'm not ready for this break to be over and I do not want to go back tomorrow.


*If there are EVER grammatical errors in my posts, PLEASE let me know. I don't want you to judge me like I judge you. :)

2009 is Over

Happy New Year!