Mom v. Dad

I laughed so hard I cried when I saw this.

Source: d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net via Amy Huntley on Pinterest

The baby's face...so funny!

Prizefighter Alien

I've said this before but newborn babies are ugly.  Now that I've got one of my own on the way, I am very worried that my unabashed proclamation of this fact is going to bite me in the butt...HARD. 

I'm sure I'll think Baby H. is the cutest baby ever born but in reality he will probably look just like all other newborn babies...swollen, prizefighter alien. 

I was at a baby shower a few weekends ago talking with another mommy-to-be.  We both agreed that new babies are ugly and they stay ugly until they are about two months old or so.  I was so relieved that I'm not the only person who feels this way.  We both agreed not to judge the other one if we don't send out baby announcements until our babies get a bit cuter.

That being said, don't expect any sort of official-comes-in-the-mail baby announcement until March...especially after putting my feelings about baby ugliness on the internet...twice.

2011, the Year of the Wedding...2012, the Year of the...

BABY!

Our group of friends will have 4 babies in 2012...one in March, one in September (woot Baby H!), one in November and one in December.  Oh my heck!  I'm so excited for all the babies!  Baby H is going to have so many cute little friends.

Year of the Baby, I have a feeling it's going to be a good one.

Not Preggo

Husband was at school last night which meant I was home alone...being less than productive...pinning everything I saw on Pinterest.  Most things I saw involved babies.  I've had a baby (more specifically, a Baby...No, I'm Not Pregnant, I Just Like Babies) board for.ev.er.

Last night, I ran into a butt load of cute baby crafts and pinned them all over my Crafts & Sewing Ideas board.  As I was doing so I was thinking "People are going to think I'm super preggo." 

I woke up to this forwarded text (originally from Thomas) from Husband: "Hey so based on Ashley's more recent pin trend topic, do you two have some big news?"

Hate to break it to you folks but no, I'm not pregnant, I just like babies...and baby crafts...and being prepared for when I really do have a baby.  I'm going to craft the crap out of everything when I really am pregnant...or at least pin a bunch of crafts that I could make for future baby.

A Text Conversation

After discussing where we're going to dinner for Court's birthday:
Me: "What do you want for your birthday?"
Court: "I don't even know what I want. Ahhhhh."
Me: "Whit if I have a little black and white picture? :)"
Court: "What?"
Me: "I hoped you would have known what I was talking about.  I guess you'll just have to wait."
Court: "Of Justin Bieber?"
Me: "Nope.  Because you couldn't guess I'm not giving it to you."
Court: "Frack. I hate the waiting game."
Court: "Wait! What? Ultrasound.  You're lying to me."
Me: ":)"

This conversation lead to this:

Yep, my family bought 3 clearance Halloween costumes.  And they're in many sizes so whenever fiction baby is born we will be set.

 P.S. I'm not really pregnant.  Karma's a jerk, right ladies?

Two Gingers, a Giant and a Pregnant Lady

Jaynee put Jenny and me in charge of finding dresses for Jenny, me, Kandace and Amy.  Here's a few things: 1) Kandace is about 6 feet tall 2) Amy will be 8 months pregnant 3) Jenny and I have red hair

I went shopping for about 5 hours on Saturday.  Finding a dress to fit all these specifications and then some is a difficult thing.  Finally, at Sears of all places ("Put on your Sunday best kids.  We're going to Sears!"), we found a dress.  It's an okay dress.  I think it looks like we're heading to a Ball put on by Harley Davidson but it works.  It will even work for pregnant Amy.  How do we know?  Oh, this is how:

Those are my jeans...rounded in to a pregnant-esq ball and shoved up the dress.

What's in a Name?

I've spent the past two hours looking up baby names.

No, I'm not pregnant.  No, I'm not planning on becoming pregnant in the near future.  The truth is, Husband isn't home. I am less than productive when Husband isn't home.

However, I now have a list with over 30 baby names that I am in love with...now if I can just talk Husband into loving those names too...and narrowing it down to about 5 names.

Easy A

Husband and I were was watching Easy A a couple nights ago (mostly because it was an on demand movie on Netflix and Huband was ignoring me while trying to fix our TV because he totally broke it.  Side note: it's now fixed...good jorb Husband.)

Thing you need to know: the main character's name is Olive.

I always ask Husband things like, "When we have kids, can we name one of them Basket?"  "How would you like to have a child named Contraption?"  You know, normal torment your husband kinds of things.  He's learned to just ignore me.

As we I watched the movie, I began to really like the name Olive.  So I asked Husband, "Can we name one of our daughters Olive?"

Husband: "Sure.  We could name her Olivia and call her Olive."
Me: "No, I already have a cousin named Olivia.  We can't do that.  I like the name Olive."
Husband's reaction? Silence.  Just silence. 

Am I a weirdy for liking that name?  I'm for real, very-much-thinking-of-having-a-little-girl-named-Olive-in-the-future, liking that name.

Best Calling Ever

I was called to the nursery last week. 

Today was my first day.  Best. Calling. Ever.

Little kids are fun.  

It was a great day...aside from the being pinched in the neck. 

P.S. Happy two-monthiversary, Husband!

What I Love...Day 30, 2011

I love...

that I'm going to love more than 1 thing in this post.  You might be arguing with me saying something like, "Ash J. You can't do that!  It's 1 thing a day.  That's the rule."  Too freaking bad is what I say back to you.  This is my blog...I do what I want.  I'm a rebel.  Now I'm just rambling.  Anyway...

I love this picture from the wedding

Did you happen to notice something...or someone...beside me and Husband?

Oh, yep.  Little girl who was spying on us the whole time we were out there.  She kept distracting me by opening the curtains to peek at us.  Little did I know that she would be a permanent part of our memories.  Made me laugh pretty hard when I discovered her in picture form.

I love my wedding dress.  Jenny did an amazing job and it was everything I could have wanted.  Would it be weird if I wore it again just because?  Maybe I'll be a bride for Halloween or maybe I'll just lounge around my house in it.

I love when people call me or comment and let me know that my blog is funny or that it brightened their day.  (This is a hint to all you lovelies who read on a regular basis to comment more often and validate me.)

I love spending time with family.  The drive me nuts at times but I love them dearly.


I love technology.  Cell phones, internet, computers, electricity...it's all amazing and I'm so glad I get to use it all daily.

I love my husband.  He's really good to me and fixes everything I need fixed.  Not to mention, he's really handsome.

I love shoes.  Really cute, sassy, high heeled varieties especially.

I love frozen yogurt with many toppings...mmm...YogurtLand.

I love babies....mmm....babies.  (Nope, Court, that's not an announcement.)

I love Utah.  It's a wonderful state.  It's a wonderful place to live and I'm pretty sure they only way I'll ever live somewhere else is if I'm paid exorbitant amounts of money or Utah sinks into the ocean...pretty sure neither of those things will happen.

Basically, I'm just super in love with my life right now.  Life is good.

Love. Love. Love.

Is That a Baby or a Swollen Alien?

Let me preface this post with these 3 little words: I love babies!

Now that I've done that, I can rant about how ugly they are.

I live in Utah. I'm pretty young. I have a large (and ever growing) family and circle of friends. Therefor, I see a lot of babies. All newborn babies look the same: like swollen baby aliens.

This is how it goes when anyone goes to see a new baby at the hospital. (If you don't agree you're either: 1-kidding yourself, 2-an immediate blood relative of the baby, or 3-so high you can't see straight.)

You walk into a room that smells of antiseptic and baby powder.

You see the poor mommy--Bless her heart but she normally looks like she spent the last 10 hours pushing a watermelon through a mouse hole--you say something like, "You look great." (Trips to see babies turn everyone into a liar.)

The daddy asks if you want to hold the baby. (That's why I came daddy! Births make both mommy and daddy loose their minds.)

Daddy hands you the baby burrito and you're intoxicated by the wonderful smell of new baby (if you're a woman and in a relationship you talk to your significant other about starting a family as you drive home from the hospital. If you're me, you are bombarded by your sisters who have to be an aunt RIGHT NOW!!).

Then you look at baby's face. Ugh! Is baby already a prizefighter? Then you say something like, "Oh, look how tiny he/she is." Because you're trying to stop lying and you can't say "Oh, what a cutie!" because he/she looks like a swollen alien baby and any other newborn you've ever seen. Seriously, this picture below could be any white baby ever born. Maybe it's you.

I do really love babies and I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad but babies are ugly for the first week or two of their lives and you all know it.

So Stinking Cute!

After my rant yesterday, I spent some time blog surfing. I came across this blog and now really want a cute little girl (and a sewing machine) so I can make all these great things for her.

First, how cute is this little dress made from an old t-shirt? You have to check out the site to see how cute the little girl looks in it. Plus, it's super cheap and easy to make...perfect.


Next is this fabulous dress made from a woman's tank top...how cute! I think I would wear it.


Then she made a dress out of a too-small onsie...So cute! I love this skirt!


Lastly, there is this so cute dress made from an old button-up dress shirt.

Holy cow. There are so many cute things on this site! I am very impressed.

I'm Moving Too Slowly for My Family

I had a great weekend (as long as I forget about all the bad and annoying things that happened).

On Friday I spent some time with some girls I graduated from Westminster with and we caught up, complained and laughed late into the night. Thanks for hosting Jenn, it was a great night!

Saturday was a surprise party for my cousin's husband. He turned 40 and we had a nice little party for him. This night was the beginning of the baby insanity that has infested my sisters. While at the party, we got to see another cousin who had a baby a year ago. He is super cute. This made my sisters need a niece or nephew. Here was the conversation:

Them: "Oh, he's so cute! Ash, don't you want one of these?"

Me: "Sure but I think I should think about finding a husband first."

Them: "We need to be an aunt within the year. We need to get you married then you need to have a honeymoon baby."

Me: "Oh. Ok." (Cue eye roll)

Them: "Seriously."

Me: "uh-huh."

Onto Sunday. We went to another cousin's house (on the other side) for dinner. Another cousin, who had a baby 9 days ago brought her little one. This is when the baby hunger infestation infected my mom.

My sisters and mom: (in unison and baby voice) "Oh, isn't he a cutie. Goochy goo. Yes, you think Ashley should hurry up and get married and have babies, huh. I know you'd love a cute little baby to play with...we need to get her a husband...blah, blah, goo, goo, ga ga...blah...Ashley needs to have a baby...baby...baby...goooo..."

Then I left and hung out with the unobsessed in the back yard. This is what I come back to about 15 minutes later:

Random family members: "So, we need to find you a husband?"

Me: "Uh, why?"

Random family members: "Because your sisters and mom want you to have a baby."

Me: "Oh. Ok."

A little bit later...

Family member: "I have a few guys I think I could set you up with but tell me what you would like in a guy."

Me: "A good job."

Family member: "Ok. That gets rid of 2 guys, I still have 3 I'm thinking of though."

Me: "College education."

Family member: "Ok. I still have 1 in mind."

Me: "LDS."

Family member: "Ok. Sorry."

Later when I'm holding 9-day-old baby:

Random family member: "I hear you're baby hungry."

Me: "What?!"

Random family member: "I thought we were trying to find you a husband so you could have a baby."

Me: "Umm...No."

Later...

Gay family member: "You could be the surrogate for me and Bri."

Me: "What? When did this turn into 'Ash just wants to be pregnant'?"

From there everything just got weird. I had to leave.

Let's just say that my family is a bit crazy. Sure, I'd love to find a great guy, get married and start a family but really...you're nuts family, I love you but you're nuts.