I'm really hoping this doesn't disgust anyone so much that they never come back to read my blog.
Let me set the stage for you. I have a friend that is very regular or has IBS...I haven't decided yet. He is always in the bathroom and stinking up the place.
Here's the email I received from him:
I'm on a first date with this girl from my ward. We go to Texas Roadhouse and I think everything's going okay. but I start driving us back to her house to get changed to go play volleyball. The radio is off and in between our conversation my stomach rumbles and she heard it drop. All I could say is this isn't good, this isn't good at all. She starts cracking up and couldn't stop laughing and she asks, "Do you wanna stop?" I tell her we don't have a choice. I stop at Walgreen's and I go poop for 20-30 min, not sure how long I was in there. I get back in the car and we go play volleyball. The end
I haven't talked to him since. Do you think they had a second date?
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Friday, May 14, 2010
Can I Borrow Your Big Girl Pants?
There is so much I want to say but because this is the internet and anyone could read it, I think I'll refrain. I've spilled my guts to enough people this week to last me awhile.
Here's the short of it: I wish I could stop being such a pansy, put on my big girl pants, and do something about it but I'm terrified.
That being said, my posts may become a bit more superficial than usual.
P.S.
L. told me to "get some this weekend". I don't know if I should be weirded out by the fact that he and the rest of my class are so obsessed with my personal life or worried about what he thinks "get some" means. 6th graders are interesting.
edit: My friend Ryan gave me the line "Big girl pants." I (he) thought I should give him credit.
Here's the short of it: I wish I could stop being such a pansy, put on my big girl pants, and do something about it but I'm terrified.
That being said, my posts may become a bit more superficial than usual.
P.S.
L. told me to "get some this weekend". I don't know if I should be weirded out by the fact that he and the rest of my class are so obsessed with my personal life or worried about what he thinks "get some" means. 6th graders are interesting.
edit: My friend Ryan gave me the line "Big girl pants." I (he) thought I should give him credit.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Being Stupid is Tough Work
I've been super dumb the last couple of days.
I already told you of the no sleeping thing. This trend has continued and now I've gotten even stupider.
I'm blaming the lack of sleep for my horrible decision making. I may be making it sound like I did something horrible. I don't think I did. But I do think it's just going to come back and bite me, and only me, in the bum.
Here's how it all went down:
During reading groups, my student L. (you know L. from proper English lady, "Girls just want to date me", "Valentine's Day is a day of love", "Hey laaaaaaady!", Jedi boots, and Tampico.) asks me why I'm not married (then he told me how pretty I am and that I should have a boyfriend...but that's beside the point). Somehow, we got to talking about my boyfriends or lack thereof. And somehow, I began talking about the boy that I like. I told them almost everything.
My girls are even more obsessed now with finding me a husband than they were here. We'll see how this all plays out.
I already told you of the no sleeping thing. This trend has continued and now I've gotten even stupider.
I'm blaming the lack of sleep for my horrible decision making. I may be making it sound like I did something horrible. I don't think I did. But I do think it's just going to come back and bite me, and only me, in the bum.
Here's how it all went down:
During reading groups, my student L. (you know L. from proper English lady, "Girls just want to date me", "Valentine's Day is a day of love", "Hey laaaaaaady!", Jedi boots, and Tampico.) asks me why I'm not married (then he told me how pretty I am and that I should have a boyfriend...but that's beside the point). Somehow, we got to talking about my boyfriends or lack thereof. And somehow, I began talking about the boy that I like. I told them almost everything.
My girls are even more obsessed now with finding me a husband than they were here. We'll see how this all plays out.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Speed Dating
When was the last time someone asked you out while driving down the road?
If your name is Ash J. the answer is today. Yep, that really happened.
If your name is Ash J. the answer is today. Yep, that really happened.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Odd Family Dynamics
My student L. (I just realized that I have a bunch of kids with the same initial...this is not the same L. as here and here.) and all her friends began playing this family game. It's really quite dumb they just call each other brother, sister, cousin, mom, dad, etc. A few days ago, they told me of the game.
"Miss J.! You should be in our family! You can be grandma!"
Cue my exaggerated frowny face. "Ouch, L. That hurts. How about I'm your super awesome aunt?"
"Yep, that will work."
Today, during recess, L. comes up to me and says, "Miss J. We need to get you a husband so we can have a super awesome uncle. How about Mr. L?" (the only single male teacher at our school.)
All other girls, "No! He's mean to us. He yells a lot." (BTW, he is not mean but he does "yell," that is just the kind of person he is, I personally want to begin teaching like him because when he talks, his students listen, which mine have forgotten how to do lately.)
L. chimes in with, "Miss J. I have a better idea. You can date my cousin."
My only thought was "Please don't be talking about a 'cousin' at school. That's just creepy." Trying to figure out if it truly is a cousin, I ask, "Ummm...how old is your cousin?"
"Like 20."
"No, L. That won't work."
"Awwww. But Miss J. It would be so cool if we were related."
Ummmm...Probably not.
"Miss J.! You should be in our family! You can be grandma!"
Cue my exaggerated frowny face. "Ouch, L. That hurts. How about I'm your super awesome aunt?"
"Yep, that will work."
Today, during recess, L. comes up to me and says, "Miss J. We need to get you a husband so we can have a super awesome uncle. How about Mr. L?" (the only single male teacher at our school.)
All other girls, "No! He's mean to us. He yells a lot." (BTW, he is not mean but he does "yell," that is just the kind of person he is, I personally want to begin teaching like him because when he talks, his students listen, which mine have forgotten how to do lately.)
L. chimes in with, "Miss J. I have a better idea. You can date my cousin."
My only thought was "Please don't be talking about a 'cousin' at school. That's just creepy." Trying to figure out if it truly is a cousin, I ask, "Ummm...how old is your cousin?"
"Like 20."
"No, L. That won't work."
"Awwww. But Miss J. It would be so cool if we were related."
Ummmm...Probably not.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Number 2
I told you about my students writing goals here and about how one of my students wanted to "be more awesome" and "find a girlfriend."
What I forgot to mention was that the next day he said, "Hey Miss J. My number 2 is coming along pretty good." Because I was teaching and it was a crazy time, I had no idea what he was talking about and immediately thought he was talking about poop...mostly because he's a sixth grade boy and why else would you say "number 2" if not referring to that "number 2." Because I didn't think he need to tell me about how great his number 2s are, I questioned him a bit more. He said, "Remember yesterday? My number 2...the letter?" Cue light bulbs. Oh. The girlfriend. "That's nice K. but I still don't think it's a great goal for you."
So, being the sarcastic, always-give-you-a-hard-time-but-in-a-loving-way teacher that I am, I ask him about the goal every once in a while by saying something like, "How's your number 2 coming?" And I always do so when he's with girls because it's just too easy. He usually says something like, "Oh, pretty well."
Today was different...today when asked, he said,
"I finished that goal yesterday."
"Someone at this school?"
"No. She's a year older."
"Oh, K. Good luck."
What I forgot to mention was that the next day he said, "Hey Miss J. My number 2 is coming along pretty good." Because I was teaching and it was a crazy time, I had no idea what he was talking about and immediately thought he was talking about poop...mostly because he's a sixth grade boy and why else would you say "number 2" if not referring to that "number 2." Because I didn't think he need to tell me about how great his number 2s are, I questioned him a bit more. He said, "Remember yesterday? My number 2...the letter?" Cue light bulbs. Oh. The girlfriend. "That's nice K. but I still don't think it's a great goal for you."
So, being the sarcastic, always-give-you-a-hard-time-but-in-a-loving-way teacher that I am, I ask him about the goal every once in a while by saying something like, "How's your number 2 coming?" And I always do so when he's with girls because it's just too easy. He usually says something like, "Oh, pretty well."
Today was different...today when asked, he said,
"I finished that goal yesterday."
"Someone at this school?"
"No. She's a year older."
"Oh, K. Good luck."
Friday, December 11, 2009
Before the Date Update
Get this.
He just asked me to drive.
Do you see the smoke? This date is ready to burst into a fiery ball of ugliness.
How delicious.
He just asked me to drive.
Do you see the smoke? This date is ready to burst into a fiery ball of ugliness.
How delicious.
Before the Date
I've been trying to think of something interesting to write about for days and I realized that anything interesting that happens to me revolves around the kids I teach. While I am not saying that I don't want or like being off track, I do know that I'm very boring without the 25 twelve-year-olds that I spend so much time with.
So let's just talk about the issues of the day.
About a week ago, I told you about T., the boy from church. Turns out even though I was a crazy person, he still wants to "get to know" me. Whatever. I gave him my phone number which turned into a crazy mess. He's sending me all kinds of texts. The most vomit inducing of which included the phrase "are you interested?" What?! Umm...I don't know you. You seem nice but all these texts are freaking me out so how about we'll go out (because everyone deserves a first date) and then I'll let you know.
We're going out tonight. We'll see how it goes.
Seriously, what is the deal? Do I just attract needy people or are all boys really needy?
So let's just talk about the issues of the day.
About a week ago, I told you about T., the boy from church. Turns out even though I was a crazy person, he still wants to "get to know" me. Whatever. I gave him my phone number which turned into a crazy mess. He's sending me all kinds of texts. The most vomit inducing of which included the phrase "are you interested?" What?! Umm...I don't know you. You seem nice but all these texts are freaking me out so how about we'll go out (because everyone deserves a first date) and then I'll let you know.
We're going out tonight. We'll see how it goes.
Seriously, what is the deal? Do I just attract needy people or are all boys really needy?
Sunday, July 12, 2009
On Dating
I have been really boring the last few days just trying to figure out my first week of school (and trying to avoid thinking about it at the same time) and I found this article. I have been on some pretty boring, monotonous dates and thought this may help some of you. I have also added my own comments on some of the very important issues.
So you went out with somebody and thought they were absolutely amazing. She was the hottest, sexiest woman of the moment. So, how do you capitalize on the success of a great first date?
Here are 10 sure-fire ways to get that second date:
1. Ask her out again at the end of the first date. Invite her to do something she told you she finds exciting. For example, if she likes Mexican food, tell her you know the best Mexican restaurant in town and you want to bring her there Tuesday night. Set up that second date so she doesn't have time to think about the first date, and so she has something to look forward to.
*If you ask her on a date that involves something she mentioned in passing, she will know that you really listened to her. That is so important. I hate when I feel like I've been talking to a brick wall all night or when I say something for the 14th time and he says something to the effect of, "What?! You never told me that before." Yes. I did. Fourteen times to be exact. But that was a tangent. Just listen to her, be interested in her and this comes up later so keep reading.
2. Text her or call her the very next day. Either text her a simple message that says "Had a great time last night...Looking forward to the next time." Or, call her and leave a message and tell her the same thing over the phone.
*And if you do leave a message, make sure you sound up beat. There is nothing worse than a phone message that sounds like someone is giving you bad news when in fact he is telling you he had a great time. If you had a great time, sound like it! Even if you have to fake that enthusiastic voice, do it. If you sound bored/tired/disinterested, chances are we will become bored/tired/disinterested in you.
3. Don't agree with everything she says. Challenge her mind. If you agree with everything she says, she'll look at you as being weak. If she sees you as being weak, she will no longer be attracted to you, and you will no longer get a second look or a second date. I'm not telling you to be confrontational. I'm telling you to be open, honest and real.
*I want to be challenged in my opinions. I like to hear other's points of view. It makes me a better, well-rounded person. I've been on dates where I realized quite quickly that he was just saying things to make me happy. Guess what, it made me angry. This is how the conversations went:
Me: "And I hate babies. I like to punch them when no one is looking. Do you hate babies too?"
Him:"YES. Despise them."
Me: "And puppies too. I kick them and pull their tails. I mean who wants a puppy anyway?"
Him: "Yeah puppies suck."
This horrible display of annoying weakness did not lead to a 2nd date.
4. Don't expect sex or force the issue of sex until it's right for both parties. Take things slow and enjoy getting to know each other. There are no rules about when to have sex for the first time with a new potential partner. You're both adults, and if a woman decides that she doesn't want to have sex with you for a month, respect her! Or, if a woman decides she wants to have sex with you on the first date, respect that decision too! When you do have sex, make sure that the two of you handle it like adults and not like children.
*Ok, I don't have experience with this but let's relate it to kissing. Some girls are fine with kissing asap, some are not. Just respect it and let it happen naturally. Read her cues. If she is avoiding eye contact, she probably doesn't want to kiss you. If she is licking her lips, looking at your lips, making lots of eye contact, etc. go for it. If she turns her head, no worries, you read the clues wrong. Dust yourself off and try again on a later date.
5. Be positive and fun when you're out with her on a date. Don't bash your ex. Don't complain about all the things that are wrong in your life. Spend time getting to know each other's good sides.
*Rants about how much you hate work should also not be mentioned on date one. Or date four…you know what…keep it to yourself. Complain to your mom, your roommate, your dog, your coworker that hates your stupid boss as much as you do because your boss has no social skills, treats you like you and your opinion don't matter because you don't have a degree, makes racist remarks and is incompetent. Keep it positive with the girl you want to impress. When you get further into the relationship, she will want to hear what's wrong at work and she will probably help you find an answer to your problem. But the first few dates are not the place or the time to complain about your horrible boss (even if he is the biggest LDB who ever lived).
6. Listen to your date. Question things that don't sound right. Have a two-sided conversation instead of talking at her. Most men tend to want to impress women with their accomplishments. Women enjoy getting to know a man based on what's inside. So spend time listening and having a conversation instead of bragging about yourself. The less you brag, the more interested she will be!
*Ugh! Bragging = huge turn off! Don't do it. Again, ask your date questions. Ask follow up questions. Use good listening strategies—look at her, nod your head, etc. If she is interested in you (and not completely self absorbed) she will also ask questions of you. This is a time when you can do a little bragging (Good="Yeah, own my own business." BAD= "Yeah, at 24 I had saved enough money to buy a business. Within 2 years I turned it into a multimillion dollar cash machine. Then at 27 I expanded my empire globally…BLAH BLAH BLAH...").
7. When out with your date, do not check out other women in front of her. Do this, and you'll never get another date with her again.
*Why would this ever be acceptable? And don't ask your date if she thinks another guy is cute. First, why would you want to know if she saw him? Second, were you also checking him out? Is he more your type then she is? Just don't do it. It's annoying and immature.
8. Compliment her once about the way she looks. Don't tell her all night long how beautiful she is, because she will start to think that you've never before been out with a woman as beautiful as her, and you'll start to lose your power.
*I thought I was alone in this but have recently talked to many friends and realized they all hate it as much as I do. If you are constantly saying "You're beautiful/gorgeous/amazing/(insert any adjective to describe a girl's appearance here)" it makes me think that (a) you've never been out with anyone as beautiful/gorgeous/amazing as me and I'm obviously dating way down (b) you want something more from me and you think that complimenting me like a broken record will get you what you want, or (c) you've forgotten my name and think saying "Hey Beautiful." will trick me. It won't. I've had my name for my entire life and have grown to really like people using it to get my attention. This is a bit tangential but use her name. Call her by her name or maybe a shortened version of her name, if she is okay with that. In my case, I love it when people call me "Ash" I hate it when people replace my name with "Beautiful" "Angel" "Buttercup" "Kissy Face" "Honey Bunches of Oats" "Good Lookin'" I have a name, please use it.
9. Compliment her mind. Compliment her once about the way she looks. Bond with her mentally and emotionally and physically, and she will bond with you in ways that you've never experienced before!
*I have never been able to connect with people that don't respect me or my mind. I am a smart person and have worked very hard developing my mind and I appreciate being acknowledged for that. If you want to win a girl's heart, do it by bonding mentally, emotionally and physically. You can only get so far on half-assed one-liners about her beauty.
10. Once you've secured the second date, and the second date is successful, you need to set up an "activity date" for date number three -- take her to the park, go to the beach, or take your dogs for a long walk. Do things that cause her to picture the two of you as a couple. Dates should be creative, not boring. Sitting there and swapping stories over dinner tends to get monotonous after date number one, so start creatively planning different dates.
*Seriously, how many times can you get dinner, see a movie and make out? It gets really boring, really fast. Think of things to do with her. Use your brain for crying out loud! And, if you asked her out, it is YOUR responsibility to have the date planned. Do not, under any circumstance, pick her up and ask what she wants to do. Say "I was thinking we would do ___________. Does that sound good?" If she's not a total pushover, she will let you know that she doesn't want to do said activity and will then help you think of another activity. But it is your responsibility to plan the date you asked her out on.
That's my new dating philosophy, you asked you plan. I'll wait here until you have a plan.
Dating Coach, Blogger and Author David Wygant has been featured on more than 2,000 radio and television shows including Dateline, CBS Good Morning, and MTV. Get more sex and dating tips on David's interactive blog at davidwygant.com
So you went out with somebody and thought they were absolutely amazing. She was the hottest, sexiest woman of the moment. So, how do you capitalize on the success of a great first date?
Here are 10 sure-fire ways to get that second date:
1. Ask her out again at the end of the first date. Invite her to do something she told you she finds exciting. For example, if she likes Mexican food, tell her you know the best Mexican restaurant in town and you want to bring her there Tuesday night. Set up that second date so she doesn't have time to think about the first date, and so she has something to look forward to.
*If you ask her on a date that involves something she mentioned in passing, she will know that you really listened to her. That is so important. I hate when I feel like I've been talking to a brick wall all night or when I say something for the 14th time and he says something to the effect of, "What?! You never told me that before." Yes. I did. Fourteen times to be exact. But that was a tangent. Just listen to her, be interested in her and this comes up later so keep reading.
2. Text her or call her the very next day. Either text her a simple message that says "Had a great time last night...Looking forward to the next time." Or, call her and leave a message and tell her the same thing over the phone.
*And if you do leave a message, make sure you sound up beat. There is nothing worse than a phone message that sounds like someone is giving you bad news when in fact he is telling you he had a great time. If you had a great time, sound like it! Even if you have to fake that enthusiastic voice, do it. If you sound bored/tired/disinterested, chances are we will become bored/tired/disinterested in you.
3. Don't agree with everything she says. Challenge her mind. If you agree with everything she says, she'll look at you as being weak. If she sees you as being weak, she will no longer be attracted to you, and you will no longer get a second look or a second date. I'm not telling you to be confrontational. I'm telling you to be open, honest and real.
*I want to be challenged in my opinions. I like to hear other's points of view. It makes me a better, well-rounded person. I've been on dates where I realized quite quickly that he was just saying things to make me happy. Guess what, it made me angry. This is how the conversations went:
Me: "And I hate babies. I like to punch them when no one is looking. Do you hate babies too?"
Him:"YES. Despise them."
Me: "And puppies too. I kick them and pull their tails. I mean who wants a puppy anyway?"
Him: "Yeah puppies suck."
This horrible display of annoying weakness did not lead to a 2nd date.
4. Don't expect sex or force the issue of sex until it's right for both parties. Take things slow and enjoy getting to know each other. There are no rules about when to have sex for the first time with a new potential partner. You're both adults, and if a woman decides that she doesn't want to have sex with you for a month, respect her! Or, if a woman decides she wants to have sex with you on the first date, respect that decision too! When you do have sex, make sure that the two of you handle it like adults and not like children.
*Ok, I don't have experience with this but let's relate it to kissing. Some girls are fine with kissing asap, some are not. Just respect it and let it happen naturally. Read her cues. If she is avoiding eye contact, she probably doesn't want to kiss you. If she is licking her lips, looking at your lips, making lots of eye contact, etc. go for it. If she turns her head, no worries, you read the clues wrong. Dust yourself off and try again on a later date.
5. Be positive and fun when you're out with her on a date. Don't bash your ex. Don't complain about all the things that are wrong in your life. Spend time getting to know each other's good sides.
*Rants about how much you hate work should also not be mentioned on date one. Or date four…you know what…keep it to yourself. Complain to your mom, your roommate, your dog, your coworker that hates your stupid boss as much as you do because your boss has no social skills, treats you like you and your opinion don't matter because you don't have a degree, makes racist remarks and is incompetent. Keep it positive with the girl you want to impress. When you get further into the relationship, she will want to hear what's wrong at work and she will probably help you find an answer to your problem. But the first few dates are not the place or the time to complain about your horrible boss (even if he is the biggest LDB who ever lived).
6. Listen to your date. Question things that don't sound right. Have a two-sided conversation instead of talking at her. Most men tend to want to impress women with their accomplishments. Women enjoy getting to know a man based on what's inside. So spend time listening and having a conversation instead of bragging about yourself. The less you brag, the more interested she will be!
*Ugh! Bragging = huge turn off! Don't do it. Again, ask your date questions. Ask follow up questions. Use good listening strategies—look at her, nod your head, etc. If she is interested in you (and not completely self absorbed) she will also ask questions of you. This is a time when you can do a little bragging (Good="Yeah, own my own business." BAD= "Yeah, at 24 I had saved enough money to buy a business. Within 2 years I turned it into a multimillion dollar cash machine. Then at 27 I expanded my empire globally…BLAH BLAH BLAH...").
7. When out with your date, do not check out other women in front of her. Do this, and you'll never get another date with her again.
*Why would this ever be acceptable? And don't ask your date if she thinks another guy is cute. First, why would you want to know if she saw him? Second, were you also checking him out? Is he more your type then she is? Just don't do it. It's annoying and immature.
8. Compliment her once about the way she looks. Don't tell her all night long how beautiful she is, because she will start to think that you've never before been out with a woman as beautiful as her, and you'll start to lose your power.
*I thought I was alone in this but have recently talked to many friends and realized they all hate it as much as I do. If you are constantly saying "You're beautiful/gorgeous/amazing/(insert any adjective to describe a girl's appearance here)" it makes me think that (a) you've never been out with anyone as beautiful/gorgeous/amazing as me and I'm obviously dating way down (b) you want something more from me and you think that complimenting me like a broken record will get you what you want, or (c) you've forgotten my name and think saying "Hey Beautiful." will trick me. It won't. I've had my name for my entire life and have grown to really like people using it to get my attention. This is a bit tangential but use her name. Call her by her name or maybe a shortened version of her name, if she is okay with that. In my case, I love it when people call me "Ash" I hate it when people replace my name with "Beautiful" "Angel" "Buttercup" "Kissy Face" "Honey Bunches of Oats" "Good Lookin'" I have a name, please use it.
9. Compliment her mind. Compliment her once about the way she looks. Bond with her mentally and emotionally and physically, and she will bond with you in ways that you've never experienced before!
*I have never been able to connect with people that don't respect me or my mind. I am a smart person and have worked very hard developing my mind and I appreciate being acknowledged for that. If you want to win a girl's heart, do it by bonding mentally, emotionally and physically. You can only get so far on half-assed one-liners about her beauty.
10. Once you've secured the second date, and the second date is successful, you need to set up an "activity date" for date number three -- take her to the park, go to the beach, or take your dogs for a long walk. Do things that cause her to picture the two of you as a couple. Dates should be creative, not boring. Sitting there and swapping stories over dinner tends to get monotonous after date number one, so start creatively planning different dates.
*Seriously, how many times can you get dinner, see a movie and make out? It gets really boring, really fast. Think of things to do with her. Use your brain for crying out loud! And, if you asked her out, it is YOUR responsibility to have the date planned. Do not, under any circumstance, pick her up and ask what she wants to do. Say "I was thinking we would do ___________. Does that sound good?" If she's not a total pushover, she will let you know that she doesn't want to do said activity and will then help you think of another activity. But it is your responsibility to plan the date you asked her out on.
That's my new dating philosophy, you asked you plan. I'll wait here until you have a plan.
Dating Coach, Blogger and Author David Wygant has been featured on more than 2,000 radio and television shows including Dateline, CBS Good Morning, and MTV. Get more sex and dating tips on David's interactive blog at davidwygant.com
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