6th Graders Say the Darndest Things

LKG is an ESL student from Venezuela.  He has been here since the beginning of the year but still lacks a lot of English vocabulary.  He is so stinking cute though.  Very charming and charismatic.  EVERYONE loves him.  He comes into my room for and hour of reading every day.  We read one-on-one for 15 minutes a day.  A few days before I went off track (to get married! Holler!) I was talking to LKG about going off track and getting married.  He didn't get it at first.  Here's our convo:

Ash J.: "We won't be reading together tomorrow because I go off-track tomorrow."
LKG: "What?! I like reading with you!"
Ash J.: "I know.  I like reading with you too.  But I need to go off-track so I can get married."
LKG: (Puzzled look)
Ash J.: "When I come back I'll be married.  No more Miss J.  I'll be Mrs. H."
LKG: "What?!" (Fake sobbing)
Ash J.: "I'll still be here.  You'll just call me Mrs. H. instead of Miss J."
LKG: "Oh!  Your boyfriend said '¿Quieres casarte conmigo?'"
(We look that up on a free translation sight)
Ash J.: "Yes, he said 'Will you marry me?'"
LKG: "That is so happy.  Good job, Miss J."
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Same student...another day.  The kids had been having difficulty saying his name all day.  Finally, LKG comes to me and says:

"Miss J. (dramatic pause) My name is (another equally dramatic pause) Doug.  Call me Doug."


It was funny.  Really it was.
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KC: "I don't know why but the boys on my bus treat me differently if I give them treats."

Ummm...I know why.  You're bribing them to be your friend.
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We just finished the DARE program.  To graduate all students have to write an essay about what they learned or why DARE is important.

This is the end of one of the essays:

"But I think sometimes people should be allowed to drink because sometimes that might be the only happy they have that week."
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It's in My Butt!??

We have many students at our school who do not speak English as their first language.  Because of my wonderful ESL (English as a Second Language) endorsement, I get to help many of these kids and help my school meet all the criteria the government has set up to make sure these kiddos don't fall through the cracks.

One boy comes into my classroom for the guided reading hour every day because he is very new to the country and speaks very little English.

Today, the group he was with was reading a book about the human body.  We got to a page on cells and saw this picture:

This student asked "What's this?"

I tried to explain in the simplest terms I could what a cell is.  I said, "Cells are really small.  You can't see them with just your eyes, you need a microscope (and showed him a picture of a microscope).  They are all over your body."

Him: (Standing up quickly and examining his butt) "It's in my butt?!?!"

Me: "NO!  They're all over your body.  Everything on your body is made of cells."

The group and I laughed for a good five minutes.  I love this kid!