Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Remember how I told you I needed to drop out of the MEd. program?  Well, I almost did.  I'm still taking one class per semester for the next year and then I'll decide on the Master's part.  Maybe I'll be ready in a year.  Maybe not.  Well see how it goes. 

Anyway, I'm writing this to just say that I'm glad I did because changes are a coming to my life.  I can't tell until Sunday but I'll let you know then.  Oh, wow.  I can do this.

Broken Promises

Saturday I stayed up way too late...3:30am to be precise.  The next day when I slept through the first hour of church, was struggling to even keep my eyes open for the next one and was called out for "napping" during the third (side note: I was just resting my eyes), I made a promise to myself to get enough sleep every night this week.  I said to myself, "I will go to bed no later than midnight every night this week.  Then on Friday I will celebrate the crap out of being off-track."

This promise was not kept on the first night of said pact with self.  I was up until 1:30am.  (Dang you, Rich and your silly games!  Even though I am/was tired, I am not complaining about these games...keep them coming.) 

Yesterday I recommitted myself to this promise.  Even though I had friends over, I went to bed at 11pm...WHAT?!  I don't think I've gone to bed during pm hours in a month or more.  I was so excited to get to bed on time and thought I was going to be so well rested this morning.   I knew I was going to be energetic and able to get up early enough to work out and it was going to be a great day.

That did not happen.  I slept through my alarm (and woke up 30 minutes before I had to leave for work), I had a headache, I didn't get to work out, and I was super ornery.

What's the deal?  Has my body finally adjusted to 4 hours of sleep a night and now it doesn't know what to do with the 8 I gave it? How has more sleep equaled more ornery?  Ugh.  Actually, double ugh.

Drop Out

I think I need to drop out of my MEd. program. 

I'm feeling overwhelmed.  I'm feeling like I don't know what I'm doing.  I'm feeling like my social life and I are more important at the moment.  But mostly I'm feeling upset.  I'm upset because I should get a raise from putting myself through the hell that was my first year of classes but because of the district split and lack of money, I won't get it.  I should be earning $2600 more a year (I know that's not a lot but think about what you could do with about $216 a month.  I know a lot of things I could do. 

Ugh.  I hate being a grown up.  Will someone please make my decisions for me?  And while you're at it...find me a handy, handsome husband.

Can I Borrow Your Big Girl Pants?

There is so much I want to say but because this is the internet and anyone could read it, I think I'll refrain.  I've spilled my guts to enough people this week to last me awhile.

Here's the short of it: I wish I could stop being such a pansy, put on my big girl pants, and do something about it but I'm terrified.  

That being said, my posts may become a bit more superficial than usual. 





P.S.

L. told me to "get some this weekend".  I don't know if I should be weirded out by the fact that he and the rest of my class are so obsessed with my personal life or worried about what he thinks "get some" means.  6th graders are interesting.

edit: My friend Ryan gave me the line "Big girl pants."  I (he) thought I should give him credit.

Having a Life is Tough Work

Having a life is great but it's coming at the price of giving up precious hours of sleep and becoming a lazy teacher.

Like I said here, I've been going to church activities ALL.THE.TIME.  I've met some amazing people...some amazing people that like to say out way too late.  No one realizes that my sleeping habits resemble that of a grandma and they keep me awake until all hours of the morning...the MORNING, people!  (Other proof that I'm a grandma sleeper, read here and here.)

I know what you're all probably thinking or screaming at your computer screen.  But I can't just leave my friends or tell them to lock up my house when they leave because I'm going to bed, that would just be terrible hostess duties.

Here's my week since Sunday...


Sunday afternoon/evening...dinner at my house with a bunch of lovelies.

Sunday night...movie at Ryan's (awake until 1am).

Monday evening...FHE.

Monday night...get-together at my house (again, awake until 1am).

Tuesday night...Jazz game...Hung out with Chick-Fil-A cow and Jordan, left early but still didn't get into bed until midnight.

Wednesday morning...Holy cow!  I was can't-keep-my-eyes-open, can't-form-words, walking-like-a-zombie sleepy today.  My poor students!  Yep, they're being little turds lately but they still deserve more than I could give them today. 

I really should go to bed early tonight but it's Cinco de Mayo and I want to celebrate better than I did last year.  What to do?

"If You Are Unhappy"

This is a story I just read on a friend's blog (Thanks, Jenelle!) and I thought it was fantastic, hence the double post for today.

Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to the earth in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.

*The Moral of the Story*

1. Everyone who craps on you isn't necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the crap isn't necessarily your friend.
3. If you are warm and happy in a pile of crap, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

I think it's important to choose happiness even when life is in the dumps. I also choose to accept the crap that happens in my life and I know though the times may be unhappy and trying, I will learn something and I will come out if it a better person. I also know that if I have faith, good things will happen.