Is That a Baby or a Swollen Alien?

Let me preface this post with these 3 little words: I love babies!

Now that I've done that, I can rant about how ugly they are.

I live in Utah. I'm pretty young. I have a large (and ever growing) family and circle of friends. Therefor, I see a lot of babies. All newborn babies look the same: like swollen baby aliens.

This is how it goes when anyone goes to see a new baby at the hospital. (If you don't agree you're either: 1-kidding yourself, 2-an immediate blood relative of the baby, or 3-so high you can't see straight.)

You walk into a room that smells of antiseptic and baby powder.

You see the poor mommy--Bless her heart but she normally looks like she spent the last 10 hours pushing a watermelon through a mouse hole--you say something like, "You look great." (Trips to see babies turn everyone into a liar.)

The daddy asks if you want to hold the baby. (That's why I came daddy! Births make both mommy and daddy loose their minds.)

Daddy hands you the baby burrito and you're intoxicated by the wonderful smell of new baby (if you're a woman and in a relationship you talk to your significant other about starting a family as you drive home from the hospital. If you're me, you are bombarded by your sisters who have to be an aunt RIGHT NOW!!).

Then you look at baby's face. Ugh! Is baby already a prizefighter? Then you say something like, "Oh, look how tiny he/she is." Because you're trying to stop lying and you can't say "Oh, what a cutie!" because he/she looks like a swollen alien baby and any other newborn you've ever seen. Seriously, this picture below could be any white baby ever born. Maybe it's you.

I do really love babies and I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad but babies are ugly for the first week or two of their lives and you all know it.