Blubbering Idiot

I had my doctor visit Friday with the family doctor, LeeAnn Johnson (who is super. If you need a doctor, she's on Redwood and 8600-ish. Call me I'll give you the number). I give her the low down on what has happened. This is about the 96th time I've done this in the past week. As we're talking she tells me all the things that could go wrong and how I could die if I'm not careful.

This had been a really stressful week for me and it finally all caught up with me as she was talking to me and pressing on my throbbing calf and I lost it. I was crying like a 5-year-old. It was that heavy sobbing where you try to stop and your body won't let you. My shoulders were shaking, I couldn't breath, it was horrible. I was a mess and so embarrassed. I don't like to cry in front of people and here I am sobbing like a baby.

Doctor leaves, I regain my composure...for the moment. The nurse comes in to check my blood. The test is a lot like the test to check insulin levels for people with diabetes, just a little finger prick and you're done, no big deal. She pricks my finger and tries to squeeze enough blood out for the test. She can't get enough blood so she tells me she's going to try again with a poker (I'm pretty sure that is the medical term for the thing that cuts your finger) that cuts a bit deeper. I take a deep breath and tell myself I'll be fine (really, I'm not a huge wimp but it was one of those days and I had just barely stopped crying, the tears were still right there ready to come back at a moments notice) she pricks me again and no big deal. She again tries to get enough blood and can't.

So here I am. Red, watery eyes, 2 bloody middle fingers, one cankle, swollen calf, starving (I fasted just in case) and the nurse is coming back to prick my finger one more time. Tears stream down my face. I couldn't hold them back anymore. She doesn't look at my face which I'm happy about. She sees that one finger is still bleeding and tries the test one more time and finally gets enough blood. Oh, happy day. The nurse looks up, sees my tears and asks if she made me cry. I try to tell her no but I'm so choked up I can't.

After this day, I am so exhausted from teaching all day and adventures at the doctor that I fall asleep at 8pm and sleep until 8am. I'm just ready for this all to be over.