Rumble With a Mountain Lion

Remember how I got this little scratch playing softball?

Well,  I went bigger and better.

This scrape happened while trying to slide into second (just like last time, I was out.)

At school the next day everyone asked me what happened.  I became bored with the sliding into second story so I began telling students that I got in a fight with a mountain lion.  

"You should see the mountain lion...actually you can't because I ate him for dinner."

Why Have I Not Mentioned This Yet?

Remember how Jaynee and Ryan are getting married? (Which I totally called, btw.)

Well, Ryan asked me to be his Best (wo)Man.  Super stoked about that.  I've never been a best man before.  Mostly because I'm not a man but that's beside the point.  Best wedding, besides my own, of my life?  I think so!

How Things Have Changed

Last year at this time, I was blogging about how my students had stopped making each other and me cry (woot, woot!) for the last 5 months and how it was no wonder I didn't have a boyfriend.

Very different now...I'm freaking married...for 5 months already.  It blows my mind how much life can change within a year.

Maybe by this time next year I'll have a baby...hint, wink, seriously?

Letter to UV Rays

Dear UV Rays,
As much as I love the heat, the odd sunburns I'm getting are a bit ridiculous.

Yes, I'm going to buy sunscreen right now.

Love Your Lacking in Melanin Friend,
Ash H.

P.S. Happy 5 Month-iversary, Husband

Dictionary Fun

Dev: (Opening the dictionary) I'll tell you the definition, you tell me the word...

We played this game for at least 20 minutes.  By the way...we need some practice.

*Disclaimer: If Poop Disgusts You...DO NOT READ!

I'm really hoping this doesn't disgust anyone so much that they never come back to read my blog.

Let me set the stage for you.  I have a friend that is very regular or has IBS...I haven't decided yet.  He is always in the bathroom and stinking up the place.

Here's the email I received from him:

I'm on a first date with this girl from my ward. We go to Texas Roadhouse and I think everything's going okay. but I start driving us back to her house to get changed to go play volleyball.  The radio is off and in between our conversation my stomach rumbles and she heard it drop. All I could say is this isn't good, this isn't good at all.  She starts cracking up and couldn't stop laughing and she asks,  "Do you wanna stop?"  I tell her we don't have a choice. I stop at Walgreen's and I go poop for 20-30 min, not sure how long I was in there. I get back in the car and we go play volleyball. The end

I haven't talked to him since.  Do you think they had a second date?

All By Myself...

Husband was asked to go on a business trip to Washington, D.C.  And he didn't take me. 

He left at 1 this afternoon.  I was a big girl and went to his sister's house for a birthday party all by myself (these are big steps in the life of Ash H). 

As much as I enjoy alone time...I'm kinda over it now (yes, it's only been 7 hours).

Hopefully I'll be really productive over these next few days and the house will sparkle and I'll be well rested and all the school things will be done and we'll have a nice day together when he gets back.

Father's Day Was Smashing

After all the Father's Day shindigs, I took Court and Dev home.

Court had made millions of cupcakes.

Court: Anthony, can I smash a cupcake in your face for a dollar?
Husband: Sure.

Husband obviously doesn't really care what is about to happen to him.

Court was way too nice but she enjoyed herself.

Ash: Can I smash a cupcake in your face for a dollar?Husband: I'll foot that bill.Court: Sure.

I was not as nice as Court was...I also had to hold her up so she didn't fall over from the force of my cupcake smashing.

That face?  All from the force of my cupcake to face smashing.

Best dollar ever spent...or given back.

This gave me an idea.  Remember how we have 6th grade markets?  Well, we're having one last store and I'm going to sell cupcakes for students to smash in my face.  I think they'll be stoked.  But don't worry, it will cost them a pretty penny to get this privilege.

I've been playing softball for the past couple months on a co-ed slow-pitch league.  The co-ed  slow-pitch part have been a bit weird for me but I'm finally getting used to it and actually doing pretty well (if  you ask me).

Up until yesterday's game it has been really cold.  Because of the frigidity of the spring weather we've had, I've worn my softball sweats from my junior year of high school (Hi, 10 years later.).  These sweats are my favorites and they've lasted really well...until last week's game. 

I slid into third hoping to be safe (and wasn't) but I also ripped my pants.  Not a big rip but devastating nonetheless.

I'm so sad about my sweats.  You probably should be too.

Epic Date Night

Tuesday is date night 'round these parts (we're also cowboys apparently). 

Tonight we ate at the Blue Plate Diner (featured on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives) then took a drive up the canyon.  It was very epic. 

The most epic part of the night?

Our quick trip to Iceland.  Who knew there's some sort of sci-fi portal from Big Cottonwood Canyon to Iceland?  Pretty cool, right?  You totally want to move to Utah now.

I live in West Jordan.  I understand when my phone says I'm in Salt Lake or Taylorsville...or even West Valley but Reykjavik, Iceland?  What the...?

An Evil Witch Robot Caught in My Throat

There's a kid in my class with a hacking cough.

If that wasn't distracting enough, he says, "Ahh, ka, ka, ka, ka" after each cough.

It may be a long 10 days.

Happy Father's Day

I was in charge of the craft for the nursery kids to make for their dads for Father's Day.  I decided on this card.  It turned out pretty cute even though ours were a bit ghetto with buttons I cut out...really made me want a Silhouette even more.

I Need Some Power Tools

I just found this site.  It makes me want to make every. single. thing.  Serious.  Even though power tools terrify me (mostly because I think I'm going to somehow injure my cute little hands...I need all 10 fingers!), I'm very tempted to start building.  I think this will be/should be my first project. 

The Top 10 Songs of My Brain

Like I said before, I almost always wake up with a song in my head.  So I'm going to keep track of the songs for 10 days.  Here goes:

Wednesday June 8: E.T. by Katy Perry


Thursday June 9: Love Song by Sara Bareilles


Friday June 10: The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script


Saturday June 11: Happily Ever After by He is We


Sunday June 12: Rolling in the Deep by Adele



Monday June 13: E.T. by Katy Perry

See June 8th

Tuesday June 14: Thinking of You by Katy Perry



Wednesday June 15: The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars


Thursday June 16: Blame it on the Rain by He is We--(I think my brain is in a music rut)


Friday June 17: If I Die Young by The Band Perry