True Stories From Louisiana

We drove through Louisiana.  We only stopped to go to the bathroom.  Here are some things I learned while there:

• I used a bathroom that was as bad as the AmPm outside of Barstow.  I'm surprised I survived and didn't die of some horrible STD.
• Black men love me.
• I apparently look like "Maxi from my soaps."  I really wish I would have stopped and pretended to be her...maybe take some pictures, sign some autographs.
• I survived my first and only tornado warning.

Things I Decided Today

• Being off-track is the shiz!
• I like to tuck my hair behind my ears even if I do look like a boy.
• Even though I always say I am, I will probably never ever go to bed before midnight, ever. again.
• I think I'm super crafty and can sew like all the lovely ladies with craft blogs...turns out I'm not and I can't...pictorial evidence coming soon.
• I'm pretty lame-ish when no one comes over and I'm okay with that.
• I'm pretty positive I really like holding babies...cooing, happy babies, not irritable bowel syndrome babies who puke and cry all. the. time.
• I should really write in my journal more often...true story, I started writing in my current journal on June 23, 2008.  That's pathetic, Ash J.
• I'm ready for fall weather already.  Hello, October, it's supposed to be cold by now so I can wear my boots and sweaters and tights.
• I really like people.  For real.  There are not any that I can say, "I don't like you" to.
• I want an iPod touch.
• My Halloween costume is going to be ah-maze-ing...prepare yourself.
• I have ADHD.
• I'm super stoked for the holidays.
• I like how humidity makes your skin feel but I hate everything else about it.
• Kit-Kats are my favorite candy next to Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Text to a Friend

I sent this to Jaynee today...she loved it, I feel a little creeped out by the fact that I thought it and sent it.  You decide.

I feel a little lost since I didn't see you today. :)  I think basically you're the female equivalent of Anthony except for the part where I'd kiss you...this was not supposed to be creepy but I feel like it is...I'm sorry.  I take it all back. :)

First Day of My Life

I love this song.  End of story.

Courage

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Los Angeles -or- The Day I Felt Like a Real Korean

The J-Team (Jenny, Jaynee, J'Kellen and J'Ashley) went to Los Angeles for the weekend. 

We left Utah at 7:30pm.  Ugh.  Don't ask why we did that.  

Yep, I still had my red hair when we left. . .No big deal.  People of Wal-Mart and Payson didn't even notice.

Because we left so late, we decided to crash at Kandice with a K's house in St. George (remember my last St. George trip?  You don't?  Well check out all these posts!).  This trip to St. George wasn't nearly as fun as the last time considering the fact that we got there at 1am and left at 5am.  

Fact: less than 4 hours of sleep makes for a hilarious road trip.

We stopped in Vegas.

This pickle doesn't need to be refrigerated.  We thought about buying it for that reason alone.  Then we'd have a hot, hot pickle. 
"It's hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch!" ~some commercial being played in the gas station.  I now say this anytime I refer to something hot.

Blasted sun coming up and shining in my face!  What to do?

Use the wipes that Kellen made us keep in the car, "just in case."  Good thinking, Kellen. 

We stopped just before Barstow at the AMPM because our bladders were about to explode.  As Jenny and I walked to the bathroom, the stench of urine greeted us.  We should have turned around at that point.  Instead, we ventured on.  Here's what we found.

That's a mark from my seat belt on my neck. . .kinda looks like someone cut me.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

 Needless to say, we did not use this bathroom for more than a photo shoot.

Ash: "Kellen, don't go to the bathroom here."
Kellen: "Why?"
Ash: "You'll die of gonorrhea."

From there we drove to LA.  We made it by 11am and checked into our hotel. . .in the middle of Koreatown!  It was an exciting day!

We went to buy fabric in the fabric district? Fashion district?  I don't know.  Either way, it was fun and reminded me of being in Guatemala. 

I'm not a huge fabric person, but I'm pretty sure that's suposed to say Tulle, not Tool. . .also, Crepe. . .not Crep.

We got a fabulous deal on silk...$6/yard.  Sweet!  Jenny says it's good fabric. . .and she is a fabric person.

Popsicles from a cute little Latino man.  Kellen has lime.  Jenny and Jaynee got mamey...we didn't know what that was but it sure is delicious.  Kellen's tasted like lime toothpaste.

I feel like we drove for 10 days straight.  It was really about 24 hours total.  We came up with lots of fun games though.

Who knew cold Goldfish crackers were so tasty?

Sometimes, they try to fly out of the vent though.

 

After we hit the beach, we went to Milk for some dessert.

Kellen is not happy about his watermelon ice cream sandwich.

Kellen had us all taste his ice cream sandwich.  I couldn't even chew it because it tasted so bad.

Fact: Kellen will buy any food that is green. 
Fact: All green food Kellen buys tastes horrible.

The end of a very long day.

 Jaynee has been wanting to crimp my hair for a long time.  We decided this was the night it would happen.

It's about 10:30pm in this picture, not late on a normal day but I had been up since 4:30am after getting 3 hours of sleep the night before.  I was ready for bed!  Plus, I'd been shopping and sweaty for about 5 hours that day so stop judging how horrible I look.

About half way done.  This is obviously not a good look for me.

All crimped. 

After Jaynee and Jenny had 'styled' my hair. 

Add a headband and you're ready for a night on the town!

After this, I went to bed.

The next day we got up and went to church.  After our GPS got us lost in a slightly scary part of town, we finally made it...to the Korean ward!  Jaynee and I were so excited!  Granted, we didn't understand a thing because we don't speak Korean but it was still a fun adventure.

After church, we were on the road heading home.  

We were ready with all our junk food from the Korean market.

These taste like ketchup.  Not horrible but I don't want to eat another one ever again.

Japanese Rice Cakes--Red bean flavor.  Again, something I never want to eat again.

Shrimp Flavored Chips.  I thought these were really good at first.  Then I stopped eating them.  Then I started again.  Not so good the second time around.  But they are real fun to put in the vent of the car.

All in all, this was a fun trip.  A long-full-of-driving trip but still fun. 

Love This Guy

Things Beyond My Comprehension or I Talk About Toilets A Lot

• shorty shorts and tall boots
• Decide...either it's winter/fall or summer...I know we live in Utah and the weather is a bit fickle but still...you look like a fool.
• automatic flush toilets 
• These flushers are either way too eager and end up flushing before I'm done and then splashing my bottom with toilet water or way too slow which leads to the next bullet...
• I never asked to seduce a toilet with my butt and now I have to...thanks a lot germaphobe inventor! 
• when people don't flush a public toilet
• First, I know you didn't forget, you've been flushing toilets after you've used them for most of your life.
• Second, if you're one of those "If it's yellow, let it mellow.  When it's brown, flush it down." kind of people, that's fine...in your own home.  I however DO NOT want to know for a fact that someone else has just sat on the same toilet seat I'm about to sit on...I know it in the back of my head but I like to block that thought as I sit on a public toilet seat.
• Third, I know it's not broken...I just flushed it for you.  Bleck!

I'm Going Out of Town, While I'm Gone...

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Market Day

All year, the 6th graders have been earning Academic Money.  They are paid for coming to school, doing their homework, getting good grades on tests, etc.  Four times a year, we have a Market Day so the kids can spend their money. 


Today was the first Market Day.  The kids had a lot of fun. . .and so did the teachers.

The kids did such a great job coming up with fun and creative things to sell.  The big seller?  Hair spray paint.  Even the teachers wanted in.  Sometimes, it's nice to work with 6th graders because it occasionally gives me a completely valid excuse to act like a kid again.

Man!  I am rocking that origami pirate hat.  Too bad I didn't have it on Pirate Day!

Mr. Sketch and Fuji Apples Have a Baby

They smelled like the grape Mr. Sketch scented marker.

Oh, I loved those!  Second grade me coveted them and any classmate who had them automatically became my bff for life!

They looked like plain old apples.

They made my students salivate at the sight.  They caused uproarious conversations.  Students wanted to look and touch and smell before we were ready for snack.

"They smell like grape Tylenol."  "How do they make these?"  "How do you get a grape inside an apple?"  "They smell like 1st grade!"

But they just tasted like apples and smelled like Mr. Sketch's grape friend...I was disappointed.

Snack Time!

My school began getting healthy snacks twice a week. 

Our first snack was today.  It was carrots that are not orange (What?!  I know...who knew?  Actually I did but I'm not fancy enough or pretentious enough to actually buy them.) ...I'm sure there is some sort of fancy name for them but I don't know what it is and I'm too lazy to Google it.  Feel free to inform me if you know.  I'm going to call them heirloom carrots.  Any time you get a crazy looking vegetable, someone tells you "Oh, these are heirloom (insert random vegetables here)."  And then you feel fancy eating them.

Aren't they pretty?

My students weren't too impressed.  "These taste like normal carrots!"  "I don't think it's healthy to put all that food dye in carrots." "I wish we had ranch!"  "These smell like my turtle's food."  "Do I have to try these?"  I thought they were cool and I was excited to eat a carrot during math.  I had a white one and orange/red one...they did taste like normal carrots.

I'm stoked for tomorrow...grapples!

Poetry is Funny

Sixth graders need teachers to be very explicit in with their instructions.  A while ago, our computer teacher had the students write acrostic poems using their names as the word down the side.  The idea is that the students would write about themselves and have a nice little poem when they were done.  This didn't happen.  They ended up with poems of haphazard words.

I set these poems aside and didn't really think about them until today when my sisters came to help out in my classroom.

Court and Dev found them while I was out of the room.  I came back to riotous laughter.  (You can read all about that here, on Court's blog.  She's funnier than me, sometimes.  This is one of those sometimes.)

Once we read through the poems, we created our own:

October Videos

Warning: This video contains swearing.  If you don't like a few swears said in a sassy-gay voice, don't watch this video.